Not Alone
by mustlovecat
Summary: FlackLindsay Friendship Post-ep for 5.25 "Pay Up" Lindsay pulls out the big guns to help her friend.


**A/N **Anyone who knows me knows that I am a DL shipper all the way. Although I have never written Flack/Angell, I really enjoyed the pairing on the show and was sad to see Angell go last night. (But who can argue with the story it has given Flack – and kudos to Eddie Cahill who rocked it last night and I expect will continue to rock with the arrival of season 6). However, I have always loved the Lindsay/Flack friendship, and thinking about what Flack has ahead, this popped into my head. It is just something I literally put together in a very brief amount of time this evening, but it has tugged at me all day and was just begging to be written. I hope you enjoy.

Spoilers: Up to and including 5.25 "Pay Up." Nothing from Season 6 as I know nothing. I am working on my own assumption, that none of the major players were severely injured in the shooting at the end of last night's episode.

Disclaimer: I own nothing that resembles anything you have seen on the show.

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Lindsay hesitated for a moment as she stood in front of the wooden door. She lightly bounced the baby in her arms, questioning once again the wisdom of bringing her three and a half month old daughter with her. This was either the smartest thing she had ever done or she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life. All she knew for sure was that she cared about her friend and she was afraid he was going to continue to spiral if someone did not do _something. _Everyone else's attempts had previously failed, so she felt she had been left with no recourse but to bring out the big guns, so to speak. So she smiled at her beautiful baby girl. If anyone could get through to him, Lucy could.

"Here goes nothing, baby girl," Linds said quietly, brushing a kiss against her baby's cheek. She reached up then and knocked softly on the door.

There was no response. She could hear nothing from inside, no footsteps, no sound of a ballgame blaring on the TV, not even a disgruntled, "Go away."

She knocked again, this time a little harder.

The baby in her arms blew a bubble and a smile played on her tiny, heart-shaped mouth.

"That's right, sweetheart. You keep looking like that," Lindsay cooed. She then reached up and knocked one last time.

This time, the sound of footsteps could be heard on the other side of the door. A moment later, it opened, and there Flack appeared. He was wearing a pair of old, faded jeans and a wife beater, his feet bare. A few days' growth of scruff covered his face, his eyes red and tired.

Since the bar, no one had seen or heard from him. Danny and Lindsay knew he had finally just crashed. He had gone right back to work after Jess' death to bring her killer to justice and once the case was closed and everyone had raised their glassesin one last toast, he was done. So while Danny nursed a graze wound on his upper left shoulder, Hawkes a deep cut to his right arm from flying glass from the shooting at the diner, and Mac, Stella and Adam worked the case, Don was left to grieve.

"That's fightin' dirty, Monroe," he said at seeing Lucy in his friend's arms.

"Desperate times…" she quipped. But then her smile disappeared and she looked at him sympathetically. "Can we come in?"

He hesitated for a moment, then stepped aside and gestured for the two to enter. As he closed the door, he turned and said, rather unconvincingly, "I'm fine."

Lindsay snorted, taking in the empty beer bottles, a couple shot glasses and the nearly empty bottle of JD that littered the coffee table. "Sure you are. Here." She handed Lucy to him without giving him a chance to protest, then quickly busied herself with cleaning up.

"Linds, c'mon, you don't gotta do that," he argued.

Over the sounds of clanging beer bottles being tossed into the recycling bin in the kitchen, he heard her scoff again.

Don looked at the baby in his arms, shaking his head slightly. "Your mommy's damn stubborn. Come to think of it, so is your old man, so I'd say you're pretty screwed."

"Watch your language around my kid, Flack," Lindsay called warningly, running water in the sink to wash out the shot glasses.

Flack rolled his eyes, then wandered over and slumped down in the armchair and settled the baby on his knee. He sighed, holding Lucy with one hand while he ran his other over his weary face. The last thing he wanted was company, but it was probably the one thing he needed. Of course, he was not about to admit to that.

Lindsay returned to the living room a couple of minute later, sitting down on the couch. "You want me to take her?"

Don shrugged, but made no move to release his hold on the infant.

"You wanna talk?"

At that, he raised his gaze to his friend. He shook his head.

"That's okay. We'll just sit here then."

"You don't have to stay," he finally said after a moment.

This time is was Lindsay who shrugged. "I don't _have_ to."

He shook his head with a hint of a smile.

For a few minutes, they just sat. Lindsay watched Don as he watched Lucy, letting the baby grab onto his finger and grip it tightly while she looked at him curiously. He was present, cognizant of the baby and vigilant, while at the same time his mind wandered. He and Jess had barely exchanged "I love yous", but they had felt them. They had not discussed the future, but it was implied. Her black negligee may have been a prelude to the hottest sex he had ever had, but also to a night of holding her close while he slept peacefully in his arms, her hair spread across his chest. Now he slept alone. He had refused to wash the sheets because her scent still lingered on them, but it was starting to fade. And now as he looked at Lucy, he realized he would never hold a dark haired, dark eyed beauty on his lap who had her mother's sass and charm.

Lindsay noticed the tears fill his eyes, but she made no move to go or take the baby from him. She just watched as he continued to cling to the baby with one arm while he gave into the sobs and buried his head in his opposite hand.

"She's gone, Linds," he breathed after a few minutes, much like he had said to Danny in the corridor of the hospital.

"I know. And I'm so sorry."

He took a few deep breaths to collect himself, then looked at his friend with red-rimmed eyes.

"I know that right now you feel like you can't breathe and that it will never get better. And I didn't come here to tell you that it will, because I know how glib that sounds when you're missing the person you love so much that you don't even want to contemplate the next hour. I just came because – Don, you don't have to do this alone. I tried. So did Danny. And you just end up pushing away the people you care about and it just makes you feel even lonelier." Lindsay looked at her daughter with a small smile, then returned her gaze to Don. "I want you to grieve, Don. You need to. But let me sit with you while you do. You know, let Danny down a six-pack with you. Let Adam beat you at Guitar Hero over pizza. And talk about her. I know there's a part of you that's afraid that she's going to fade until you can't picture her face anymore. So, don't let that happen. Talk about her, remember her. Tell us about something wickedly funny she did, or about the time when you two did something crazy. Just don't lock yourself away. Trust me, it doesn't help."

Don took another deep breath, then leaned down and kissed the top of Lucy's head, the little girl opening her heavy eyes for a brief moment before closing them again. "Thank you. You know, for caring."

"You took care of Danny when he needed you, and you've always had my back. What else could I do?" she smiled.

"I'm glad Messer got it together so he didn't miss this," he replied, glancing back down at Lucy for a moment.

"So am I." And she looked at him with a confident expression that said, A_nd so will you_. But she did not say it. She knew he couldn't hear it right now and she would not force him to. She had meant it when she said he needed to grieve. They all did. The one bright spot was that none of them had to do it alone. If the past few years had taught them anything, it was that they were not just a team, they were a family. And family never let you be alone.


End file.
